Memoir Writers Homework/Humour.

I love humour of most,but maybe not all kinds.As a writer it's something I strive for.Because I love to laugh,it would be great to be able to make others laugh.In fact,it's one of our God given rights to laugh.And while I'm invoking God's name,I'm convinced God has a sense of humour.How could anyone who created Giraffes,platypuses,Jeff Foxworthy,Jeff Dunham and me,not have had a sense of humour and wanted us to laugh?

Humour,to me needs not to be mean spirited,though it may cast us,or any group of us in a humorous light.But I've always had my limits.Some things are not funny.Like AIDS jokes,for instance that started making the rounds in the 1980s.I never want to reinforce the joke teller of a "joke" like that. The same with jokes that are racially degrading.

I always wanted to preform stand up comedy and,eventually,I got my wish.I sat down,wrote some jokes,tried to memorize them,then got up in front of an admittedly rather friendly audience at a club I used  to haunt in Edmonton,Alberta and let her fly.The whole thing was more or less a success.The crowd laughed.I'd prepared about 30 one liners and managed not to forget them.I don't know what I'd have done if there were any hecklers.I'd asked my friend,also a comedian,and a much better one than I,to keep an eye on the crowd and try to find out what jokes got the best reaction.It turned out my featured stuff wasn't near as funny as some of the jokes I wrote mostly as filler.Here is the one they liked the best,according to my friend:"There are some things the Bible doesn't come right out and say.Like that part where the snake got us all off on the wrong foot-and snakes don't even have feet-and God made him crawl on his belly for all eternity.Well,God must have been really chocked with the aardvarks...he made them suck ants through their nose."Howls of laughter,according to my friend,though I thought some of my other jokes were better.

I like to laugh at myself too.I am a big man.By big,I mean big around.It's called generously proportioned.Well,one time I was getting into my friends Smart Car,and having a bit of trouble.He says to me, jokingly,"if you were not so well endowed you could get in with no problem."

"Really",I replied,"are you sure you didn't mean"generously proportioned?"

"What's the difference?"

"Let me demonstrate by using both words in a sentence for you."I'm so generously proportioned,I can't tell whether or not I'm well endowed."Howls of laughter,I hope,because I might like to do stand up again sometime and I can see a place for that one in my routine.But as for humour in my writing,I suspect it's still a work in progress.You be the judge.

review

Three months seems an appropriate time to conduct a review of my blogging activities,so please bear with me as I take a few moments to do just that.My stats page indicates I have made 55 entries over just a bit more than three months and have just over 850 page views.I wish there were more and that I knew how to promote my blog better,but it's just my first try at it and I am learning.Hopefully the writing will get better too.For now I'm reasonably happy with things overall,though not necessarily with every entry.

I set myself the goal of getting to 75 entries before the end of this month,but that is looking like a bit of a challenge at this point.I've been busier than I thought I would be and I still do not have my own laptop so getting computer time can be a bit of a problem too.And really,I think it is more important to aim for quality rather than quantity,even if it means I miss posting for several days.The problem is that pageviews seem to drop if I don't post at least every couple of days.Also, unfortunately I'm not blessed with an inexhaustible supply of writing ideas either.That seemed so much easier when I was doing my writing in a notebook.Notebooks,though seem to keep getting lost,stolen,burned or flooded or just plain thrown away by someone that doesn't see their significance

So what about the direction this blog is taking?Well,basically the idea was to start a sort of a memoir.But really this blog contains just about everything I would normally be writing when I was putting things in my notebooks.In fact,the blogs entitled Memoir Writers Homework are prepared by hand first anyway.That is because the intent with those entries was to continue the writing in the same way as when I was attending the writers group in Toronto.Those entries are topical in nature and took about 10-15 minutes to complete,which is something I could never achieve in similar time with a keyboard.Still,apart from writing memoir in larger themes,or chronologically,I found those assignments a useful hunter gatherer activity and they have produced a wealth of raw materials for the actual writing.So they will continue.

So far I haven't really started the memoir except to set a sort of a context and provide some of the backstory without which the story itself would not make sense.But the starting of that is not far off.

Why write a memoir.Well,simply,I think everyone who can write should write.I don't really see my life as being especially interesting,but others might.My grandparents stories are mostly lost because they didn't write.They were not extraordinary really,but I am at a lack for some things I expect I would find interesting.As might people a hundred years from now when they see my name in a family tree.

Mostly I think my story is about my identity as a Canadian,and how you find that identity in a country so vast.That's still an ongoing experience for me.Consequently,you will see basically two kinds of writing.There is of course the memoir complete with some of the writers exercises that help to create it.So you will tend to see some insight into the actual process as well as the work product,which is an idea that appeals to me,at least right now.You will also see what I like to think of as writing in the here and now,which are really my daily reflections on a wide variety of subjects,that,until recently were being kept in coil notebooks as a kind of a journal.That too will continue.A couple of years ago I tentatively decided to separate the "now"from the "then" as far as writing is concerned.Format rules that out for the moment but it is just something I will have to live with.

How do I feel about keeping all these thing in a blog?Truthfully I'm not certain.At times I think the writing is not good enough,but I guess everyone who writes is subject to those thoughts.I sometimes wonder if putting all these things in the open market changes the way I write,or what actually gets written.Subject for a separate entry perhaps.Then there are the times,less frequent when I think that this writing might actually be of interest or use to someone.I notice I have readers from several countries all over the world,who might be getting a sense of what living in Canada is like and that keeps me going.

To everyone who takes the time to read,I thank you for your indulgence and I hope you will continue to follow along.I hope you will read the blogs I'm reading too as well as the video lists posted at the bottom,and some of the books I'm reading,which I've also posted.

For at least another three months and likely longer I will continue to keep this blog.I also welcome some of your comments,good or bad.It would be great if you could just leave me a note and let me know who you are and where you are from.Also,if any of you are writing blogs,I would like to check them out and possibly list them among the ones I'm currently reading.

That's all for now on this very hot night from Calgary,Alberta,Canada.

memoir writers homework/a hated place

It was 1979 when I first came to the most hated place I can think of.I have no idea why I would come back again in 2012 for a third kick at the cat.Oh,yes,there is plenty of work here,it's a boom town,just like it was the first time around.Money grows on trees,or at least on the kind of trees that go to make news print for the classified ads.I'm not sure I ever really believed that money grew on trees anyway.

But just because there is work is not to say that Calgary offers a decent lifestyle,with all respect to those who like it here.I don't!

This town just sucks a person dry.Sure you can make money,but the city takes away as much as it gives.Boom town economy brings boom town prices.It's hard to find housing at any price and even a lot of the working people are homeless.For $500/month you can sometimes rent a room roughly the size of a broom closet.And you have to put up with things a person should never have to put up with.Crackheads living in the next room and leaving their needles all over the place,or knocking on your door at 3am to see if you have anything to sell.I never have been involved in that kind of enterprise,but try telling a crackhead that,or that you have to be up at 5am to go to an honest job.And there is no point calling the police here in Calgary when you have bad neighbors.You see,most of the affordable suites are illegal in terms of zoning laws so there is a danger of becoming instantly homeless.Or,more likely the police will just say you consent to being mistreated by virtue of living in an illegal suite.Unless you get very seriously assaulted,the police could not be bothered.There is no shortage of police cars to hide in the bushes though so as to capitalize on the flow of money with speed traps.

Food is another thing.In Toronto I could actually afford food.I could purchase anything I wanted in good quality with a far better selection than I ever could here.The same goes for clothing.All part of the rat race I guess.People running about to get nowhere,never realizing they are slaves to a system.

Then there are the people who say"if you don't like it here why don't you leave"That's long been a prevailing attitude here.I'm here to help fill at least one of those jobs that you say can't be filled because of a shortage of workers.But as sure as the oil prices could drop like a stone again,sometime at least,these people would be talking about firewalls against the rest of Canada and offering anyone not from here a bus ticket home.Calgary is not a welcoming city.I have some very dear friends here,whom I dearly love.But that is in spite of the way this city really is.I will always,along with many like me be perceived as"that eastern trash that brings crime and social problems to Alberta"It may be thirty years since our former premier said that,but it's impossible to live here and not know that many Albertans still feel it.So,as I look to the blue mountains only sixty or so miles away,I wonder why I don't just start walking into them.Maybe someday I will.Calgary is a place to work but not a place to live.

More Reflections On America

Wherever you live in the world,it's difficult to ignore America.We are all very influenced by the presence of the most powerful nation on earth,especially those of us who live right next door.Of course we are influenced by American media-who isn't?I know from watching CNN everything I need to know about what goes on in the world.The world is an American colony and all media must be presented with that world view in mind.Well,I watch CNN faithfully once every couple of years,just in case anything has changed,but ,truly,that's not the only source of American ideas,or,believe it or not,even the best source.We watch American movies and television,read American books and,for those of us who have spent any time near the border,we even meet American people,always the most informative source of enlightenment on all things American.I've even come to find out that many of those Americans are nearly as cynical about CNN as I am.Who would have guessed.

A big brother sometimes casts a long shadow.Here in Canada we are,I think more like our brothers to the south than we are the British,from whom we came.Some people are still resistant to that idea,but it's largely true.

When I was a child I spent some time at my grandparents house,near the border of Maine and New Brunswick.While the maps clearly show where the one begins and the other ends,it's not nearly so evident when you are standing within a few miles of the border.In my part of the world,when I was young you could easily have walked across the Maine border without really realizing it,just by hunting animals in the woods.You see,New Brunswick,like Maine has a couple of interesting pine trees,as well as a few bears and moose,none of which differentiate themselves along national lines.They will not let you know when you've stepped over the line and even the most diligent border officials can't be everywhere.They seem to have gotten a lot better,or at least a lot more zealous at their job since 9/11,though.All in all,that's a good thing,but it sure is different from the old days.

In dead Creek,not far from my mother's old home there is a p[lace where you can look across a few miles of countryside and,on the rare day that is clear enough,see Mt.Katahadin in Maine.It is a picturesque peak,which sometimes has snow on it's peak even in late spring.The first time I saw it,I wondered what it would be like to walk to it,but,of course.it's much too far.It looks reachable from where you can see it though.

We used to go over to the town of Houlton,Maine sometimes.Houlton is located at the head of Interstate 95,which actually begins near Woodstock,New Brunswick as N.B.95.Houlton and Woodstock are not far apart and so we used to cross border shop in Houlton.We thought it was a really big thing to have crossed a border into the greatest country on earth,or so we were told.What I never really knew was that Woodstock was nearly three times the size of Houlton.But,of course,America was so much bigger and better than us,or at least,that's what we thought.

When we went to Maine,we were always aware that certain things could be gotten in America that could not be found in Canada.Usually it was just simple things like a bag of barbeque chips that actually tasted like barbeque chips.I guess that's how I became aware of Americans who would cross into Canada for a few hours just because they liked or beer.One of the things that I was told,over and over again that I would have to try when I went south,was Dr.Pepper.We could not get that here in Canada then and at least one of my friends would drive himself nuts with anticipation at being able to get a can of it when he went on vacation.You would have though that Dr.Pepper was the Holy Grail,the way he carried on about it.So one summer I bought myself a can and I thought,this tastes nasty.I could not believe I'd wasted even one minute thinking I had to try it.Not everything,it turned out was bigger and better in America.But around the border,there is always this though about the grass being greener on the other side.

   In the west,things are about the same.There is a big,wonderful mountain that you can look across at from anywhere in  southern British Columbia,called Mt.Baker,located nearly on the border.Farther away you can sometimes see an even more wonderful mountain called Mt.Rainier.That mountain truly is worthy of the thought that sometimes things are bigger on the other side.And,of course,Niagara Falls also shares the border between New York and Ontario.I've never crossed that border,but it is a very busy one,with sometimes hours wait to pass through the check point.
   







On the west coast,two large cities are located close to each other,Vancouver on the Canadian side,and Seattle in Washington state.They really are very similar cities though in different countries.They would seem to be of similar size and both are set in the scenic Pacific Northwest.Well,the term Pacific Northwest is a bit inaccurate as Vancouver is actually in Canada's southwestern most corner.But in our minds we tend to view it as more of a part of a region than as separate countries.Likely the Americans,or at least some of them view themselves as owning that part of our country anyway.There was once quite a fight about that and sometimes things like that are hard to forget.

It might be that Americans and Canadians are most similar here in the Province of Alberta and in Montana to our south.Again,the land doesn't change all that much,being farm and ranch land with the front range of the Rockies to our west.The border crossings here are busier too.People in Alberta like to visit Montana,and really,who wouldn't.Glacier Park has some of the most magnificent scenery anywhere and I'm certain Americans feel the same about Banff,given the number of American plates that can be spotted on cars there.Here in Calgary,there are a lot of truckers that bring produce back from Texas and California,so they spend much of their working life south of the border.One of the stories I hear from them has much to do with one of the differences between Canadian and American society.It seems that there is a truck stop somewhere south of the border where truckers stop,put their guns in a locker,then proceed into Canada,only to pick them up again on the return trip.More than once a trucker has told me that traveling in the southern states can be dangerous and that he would never be caught without a gun.That may be true,but I've never felt in danger in Montana,Washington,Idaho,or any of the Northeastern states either.




I guess taken as a whole,our countries can seem really different.but that doesn't seem to be nearly so true when you live near the border.True,Whitehorse and Miami have little in common.Neither do Los Angeles and Montreal or Vancouver and New Orleans.But here on the border things are very  similar regardless of which side you are on.Most of what we couldn't get years ago on our side of the border we can now.Canada has most of the big American stores:McDonalds,Burger King etc.Even Target is making it's debut in the Canadian market.I know I can hardly wait.We don't have any Sizzlers restaurants yet,but that's likely a good thing(one of those stories for another time).And I do suspect the when I access itunes to buy music here in Canada that I don't get exactly the same selection as I might if I were in Houlton,Maine or Great Falls, Montana.And that still truly annoys me to no end,so I guess in some ways,big brother still casts a big shadow.

God Bless The U.S.A.

If you've been reading my last few blogs,it might have occurred to you that I'm a Canadian.You catch on quick.I happen to think that I live in the best country in the world,though it's a country not without it's faults.I may,or may not think that more at this time of year-Patriotic season.But it might also have occurred to you that,not being an American,I have a rather low opinion of America.And you would be very,very wrong.

A few centuries of sharing the same continent have made Canadians and Americans brothers.It is as simple as that.There is a considerable amount of history between our two countries,and not all of it is positive.Let me review it in very simplified fashion.After all I'm hardly a History professor.

Just a bit more about Canada and Canadians today before moving on to write about my American friends tomorrow on their national holiday.

I see I have a few readers in such far flung places as Iran and Russia.Thanks for taking the time to read my blog and I hope you will be a bit more informed about Canada for the effort.

It's said that most people who live in Canada live within a couple of hundred miles of the American border,so that we all tend to be strung out along a few thousand miles of border.Certainly almost all of our larger cities are very close the the American border.And,living in Calgary in the western part of Canada,I am quite typical in that respect.The same was true for the many years I lived in Moncton,as it to is within about two hundred miles of the border.I expect that this has some effect on us.We are a lot like Americans in many ways,except of course,you can buy good donuts here.Even the Americans think so.But we have a lot of contact with Americans,we speak the same language,many of us have family members who are American.And of course we all watch American TV.What would we ever do without American Idol or without CNN to tell us how the world really works?Well,we could watch CBC for a good laugh,or tune into The Red Green Show,when we want to be informed.Or is that the other way around?

Moncton is my home town,and it bears some mention because it has a kind of unique demographic.When I was growing up there were very few visible minorities in town,yet Moncton was quite ethnically mixed.In fact,you would notice the province of New Brunswick looks a bit like a square if you check out the map.If you were to divide that square from north west to south east,you would find very Francophone communities on the north and east side of the diagonal and very Anglophone communities(United Empire Loyalists) to the south and west.Moncton is cut right through the middle by that line and it's population reflects this.For the most part West Moncton is Anglophone and East Moncton and Dieppe is French.It has been known to cause tension at times,but seemingly more in the past than now.

Today I live in Calgary,nearly 5000 miles from my home town.Calgary is best known for it's Stampede,which this year celebrates it's 100th anniversary.Calgary Stampede is,of course a huge rodeo.More on that in a few days perhaps.What Calgary is also well known for is as a centre of the petroleum business and it is one of the very fastest growing cities in North America.That changes with the fortunes of oil,of course.

In between Calgary and Moncton,there are a lot of empty spaces.You see,while we are the second largest country on earth,we have a  population roughly equal to California.Much of the country is rural then.Much of the North,that part of Canada that is say,500 miles or more away from the American border is very sparsely populated and quite remote.It has a lot of Canada's resources though.And Canada is blessed with a wealth of resources.There's oil out west and the prairie provinces,are sometimes called the bread basket to the world.Many people live and work on farms in the western third of Canada,and wheat covers the land like a blanket.

Well,more Canadian Studies 101 in a few days.After an interlude to salute our neighbors to the south tomorrow.

But here are a few Canadian popular TV shows to keep you entertained,in case you can not tolerate tomorrows blog on all things American.

Canada Day

Today is Canada Day,Canada's national holiday-the 145th.Actually it wasn't called Canada Day until quite recently,having been called Dominion Day prior to that and celebrating our membership in the British Commonwealth.Our flag,the red Maple Leaf is relatively new as well.When it was introduced in the 1960's it was quite controversial and many people wouldn't display it, preferring the Union Jack or the old Canadian Ensign instead.Those days seem to have passed now judging from the number of small flags I see being worn about town.Many of the people who seem to be proudest of the flag would appear to be new Canadians,either African or Asian and especially their children.

Since it is Canada Day,I feel like I should,in some way write something of a reflective nature on my country.That seems kind of odd as I hope that I'm telling my readers something about Canada everyday I write.I think a lot of things about Canada,most everyday and most of them good.It just seems odd to set aside a special day for it.

Over the last three years I've made the round trip from Calgary to Moncton with a two year stop along the way in Toronto.I guess what really has become evident to me is that this a very large country.Not only in terms of area,but in terms of what ,and who is contained within it's boundaries.Almost everything you can imagine is here,almost every kind of landscape and nearly every kind of person,both in terms of nationality and belief or values.That alone is something to praise my country for.

As a rule,even with all our differences we are a very tolerant society and people get along much better than even I can believe.As a whole we are a very peaceful society and I guess that's why many immigrants seek to come here.Even in our larger cities I feel safe walking about,and though there is crime,it is low compared to our southern neighbours

Comparing ourselves to Americans is something we seem to do a lot.I wonder if the fact that our patriotic holidays are so close together has anything to do with that.Our histories are very different as are our societies in contemporary terms.I've heard it said that a Canadian is "just an American with health care and no guns.There is some truth to that,as cynical as it may seem.As a whole we are a more liberal country,even when we have conservative leadership as we do now.We are also less militaristic,though,especially recently we do support our troops.

I have not spent every Canada Day in Calgary.When we were young we would usually spend the day in Pugwash,Nova Scotia,half a world away from here,and such a different place.Pugwash would have a Gathering Of The Clans on Canada Day,and my father would never miss it if he wasn't working.It really was more a celebration of being Scottish,than being Canadian and the day would be filled with piping and highland dance competition.After dark they would have a fireworks display out over the harbour and the Canadian Coast Guard would usually have a ship available in port for touring.I missed the celebration in Pugwash the last time I was back east in 2009.My sister went,but I walked into downtown Moncton and caught the celebrations there instead.

Today started off with a half drunken display by a woman dancing around in a Dr.Suess type hat and trying to hug everyone who she met.Not all were receptive,though she seemed in good spirits.Usually celebrations are low key.There will be a lot of people about town and in the parks and there will be fireworks tonight.The wearing of all things red is very fashionable as is the waving of small flags,but on the whole we are a lot more subdued in our patriotism than Americans.That seems to be changing though.Patriotism seems to be much more ion evidence than it did when I was younger.

Sometimes,of course,celebration involves stupidity or the excessive use of alcohol or both.A few years ago I walked by a house in the Victoria Park district of Calgary at about 7p.m. and noticed that they seemed to have gotten an early start on Canada Day celebrations.They were drinking on a upper balcony and were very loud and obviously drunk.The next morning I heard about the house fire and I knew exactly which house it would be.It seems that at about midnight someone got the idea to set off the fireworks in celebration.But,they got the idea to do this indoors,without the benefit of an open window.The next day I walked by and sure enough it was the party house from the day before.I got to see what 40 or 50 years of"can't fix stupid"looks like.But for the most part Canada Day is a fine summer celebration.It really is a celebration of so many different things,as Canada is more a mix of cultures spread out over a huge area.Yet we all celebrate on this day,and we are all Canadian and proud to be so.